i guess this last week i've had a lot on my mind about life, my future and love. i've been having one of those weeks where you mind won't let you rest and you can't get something(one) out of your head. my heart and my head are just fighting constantly. my emotions are fluctuating so much within a day i feel like i am bi-polar! i wake up feeling kinda blue, sad, reminiscent, doubtful. i enjoy my morning with my kids equaling happiness. i have my lunch break and sometimes it's sad, sometimes it's happy (depending on where i am and what i am doing aka starbucks makes me happy :). then in the evening... ah. my thoughts get the best of me again and i lay in bed lost in my dreams and thoughts, trying to not think about something(one). (sorry for the thing/one controversy. i am trying to not admit this is a problem over someONE. so, i will say it's a thing. i am in denial obviously.)
and goodness the following song will pretty much give it away that it's a one and not a thing.
putting denial and honestly embarrassment aside... i'm not over this thing. i am not even close to being moved on like i keep telling people. this thing is getting the best of me. i'm laying it all out there. all my thoughts for you to read. does anyone out there know what it's like to lose your best "thing"?
now that that's over with.
i will not promise that a post won't happen like this again, but my happy-adventurous-day to day-stories will return tomorrow :)
i am a happy girl, and extremely thankful and blessed for this opportunity, but that doesn't mean my heart doesn't still ache for something i've lost.
love you all who are reading this and letting me open up my heart and thoughts... all cyber-like :) i hate to be a complainer.
i know i know, you came here to read about china, but i will say it again like i have many times, this is a blog about me, not just china.
1 comments:
I love you. Life isn't always rainbows and butterflies, and i'm so glad you can be honest and show the world what its really like to feel loss. We both have this innate ability to "balls to the wall" share our feelings to the blogging community and no matter how embarrassed we feel maybe in the long someone out there needed to read just this. love you, stay strong, and we will get through this! miss you gorgeous.
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